04. Pain, Judgment and Help Sliding It In

Summary:

We’re back between the sheets (and on the couch, the kitchen counter, and everywhere else), and this week Christopher covers everything from anal prep and lube comparisons to a wild deep dive into sexual politics in Iran. With his signature blend of sass, smarts, and no-filter honesty, he answers questions on self-pleasure privacy, bisexual husbands, gym-fueled horniness, and the fantasy of “being sexy” vs actually expressing it.

There’s also a new favorite lube that looks like cum (yep), some spicy tips on anal play, and the revelation that coconut oil may be the MVP of the kitchen and the bedroom.

Key Takeaways:

• Sexual pain might have a name. If you experience consistent pain during sex, you might want to explore conditions like vulvodynia or vaginismus. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. Get curious.
  
• Exercise is like Viagra. Yep, a study found regular workouts mimic the same chemicals that make Viagra effective. So your gym session could be a libido booster.
  
• Being vaccinated doesn’t ruin sex. Whether you’re COVID vaxxed or not, having sex across vax-status lines won’t harm you. Unless your beliefs say it will, and then… it just might.
  
• Masturbation doesn’t always need to be shared. If solo time is your private space, even in a shared home, that’s valid. You’re allowed sexual boundaries, even in relationships.
  
• Anal play pro tips:
  
  • Relaxation matters more than you think
    
  • Prep with fiber and toys
    
  • Use more lube than you think you need
    
  • Slow, gentle, playful is the way to go
    
• Lube lowdown:
  
  • Water-based: great for sensitive skin, but washes off easily (try Swiss Navy or Wet Stuff)
    
  • Silicon-based: slippery, lasts longer, great for anal, but avoid with silicon toys (Uberlube = luxe fave)
    
  • Oil-based: coconut oil is a bedroom lifesaver when you’re out of the fancy stuff
    
  • Wildcard pick: Cum Lube from Red Dragon, a water-based lube that acts like silicon and looks like… you guessed it
    
• When your lover is secret. If you’re struggling between a spouse and a lover, Christopher invites you to look at the concept of “toleramory” – where everyone might know, even if no one says it out loud. You don’t have to choose, but you do have to be honest with yourself.
  
• Your inner sex bomb is real. If you want to be magnetic and sexy but feel formal and reserved, start by asking what you’ve decided is “not allowed.” Sexy energy doesn’t have to mean skin-tight dresses. It’s an energy you can bring to everything.